first of the month look back 06: and all this time i thought that i was annoying
In this entry that I from September 1995, I am a senior in high school. I am attending Hillsboro High School. Nothing spectacular occurred on this date or anything. But it does provide a great read. Reading this entry made me think of a of things though. How I hold myself back from getting to know people because of my fear of becoming annoying or getting on their nerves. I think that is why I do not keep with people much. Anyhow, I will let you as the reader decide. Anyhow here is my journal entry from...
Freitag 01. September 1995
I'm so angry, sad, and depressed now. I have no idea of why am so. I was so angry that I broke my walkman. I had fallen asleep while listening to my walkman and when I woke up, it didn't work. I thought the new batteries that I had put in it this morning was not functioning well, so I put in two new batteries. Those did not work either, but the tape was moving. It must have been the headphones. Well I checked with my mom's stereo and the tape worked. I was so pissed off so I smashed my walkman against the wall and it broke. Later I threw it against the bedroom door and then down the stairs. I was so angry. Then I was depressed because of my actions. The rest of the morning I was very relaxed.
In Music Careers, we got to listen to listen to a guy from London record a song. It was a good song. I was inspired to write a poem called "Lurking Eyes." My inspiration inspired Issiac to write something.
On the way to my English class, I saw Mary M. It's so cute that she and Issiac are together. During English, I showed Aaron my poem and he thinks that it like Edgar Allan Poe-ish. A substitute teacher was taking Mrs. Tune's place, so I went to the library via her permission. I saw and talked to Mark. He's Jason's brother. He told me that they hardly talk to one another. He just goes outside while his brother sits around and plays the Super Nintendo. Mark and I went to summer school together. I had a great time talking with him.
Lunch was fun. I talked to Brian, Gaeton, and sorta to John. I think that John thinks that I am annoying. Brian (from band) joined us. He plays a weird drum instrument. I forgot what it's called.
During Mass Media, we continued working on WHHS. I didn't talk to John much, because well you know why. I think that he thinks I'm annoying. Meaghan was the director and boy did she hate that job. It was neat though because we actually talk to each other. I know this sounds sappy, but I always felt that I got on her nerves. Alexis was the reader.
On the way to P.E., I saw Angela. She gave me phone numbers for psychiatric services that TennCare. That's cool because I can finally receive the treatment that I need.
In P.E. class, we had to sit in the lower level of the auditorium. Some lady gave a speech on conflict resolutions. I could not really hear her from where I was sitting. so I rewrote "A Young Lady's Emptiness" during her speech. That was rude of me, but I couldn't hear her from where I was sitting.
During band class, Julian asked me why I alaways say hi to him. He told me that it gets on his nerves. So I told him that I will ignore him. I was only kidding, but he took me seriously I think. So tension (unwanted by me at least) between him and I has formed. I just have to find a way to get rid of it. Julian didn't do to the afternoon practice and neither did Demetrius. He wants to quit because of Rebbecca. Erica, Rose, and I persuaded him to stay.
I hung out with Rose before our afternoon band practice. We walked to Taco Bell. I felt so lost when I was there. I'm not sure why. Kelsey invited me to his birthday party. but I couldn't go because of lack of transportation. Band practice was fun, even though I do not remember anything big happening.
I rode the bus to downtown. I fell asleep. In fact, before my stop, I rung the bell and fell asleep just in time to wake up to get off the bus. I walked to the library where I saw the latest issue of Seventeen magazine. Hillsboro students were pictured in the it.
On the way to where I catch my bus, my box of markers fell. These stupid people started laughing at me from their truck. What a bunch of assholes! I saw Paul and Pamela. They were conversing amongst themselves. I stopped and hung out with them. Paul gave me a copy of Pop Tart Babies. It's a magazine that Susie had started. It is small, but still really cool. He told me to call him over the weekend. My weekend is gonna suck. I know that it will.
Hole "Softer, Softest"
posted at 09:19
item number: 1430407118554659083
